Be A Man, Find Your Purpose

I know because I feel it, too. Thirty-something with a good job, a great family, and some cool toys acquired over the first half-ish of your professional working career. You want more, but more of what? That sense, the little feeling, what is it?


I measure up. I have a house. It’s not as big as the houses of my friends. I earn a decent salary. It’s not as much as I believe I’m worth and it certainly doesn’t measure up to those friends who have the bigger house…and the new Honda with the duel-screen DVD player. You know who I’m talking about, the family that seem to take the trips that I want to provide for my family.


That guy who has the bigger house, the new car, and travels the world with the confidence of Indiana Jones, he feels the same way you do.


Thoreau it all a way and find your Walden. (It took me nearly 30 seconds to think of that) This is where purpose resides.


Look, I’m not saying that you have to toss that cool new Mac Air, stop using deodorant and wipe your ass with surrounding roughage. I’m talking real change, the kind that takes place in your heart, mind and soul. I’m talking the hard kind of change.


It was a two-step reality check that set my sail. I nearly lost my family and God stepped into my life.


Now, before you write me off as some Christian zealot waiting until the middle of my musings to spring my trap of damnation, take a second to realize that I’m writing about what worked for me. I'm writing about concepts, not fire and brimstone. I don’t even know what brimstone is or why it’s pejoratively coupled with fire. Heck, I don't even know if I can use pejorative as an adverb...but I did. Call me crazy.


Out of a sense of something between curiosity and guilt, coupled with a strangely unexplainable desire, I attended Promise Keepers in Atlanta, Summer 2006. The speakers captivated me. I was a bit freaked out at the same time by 16,000 men cheering across Philips Arena, “Yes, yes, yes we do. We love Jesus, how bout you”. I’ve always considered myself a Christian, but not one that screams about it. Seems a little preacher-with-bullhorn-ish to me, but whateveah’.


After a day-and-a-half filled with biblically-centered motivational speak, comedians, and a killer rock show (I don’t even like Christian rock), I emerged with three concepts that changed my life forever. In theory, only one deals with God. In my reality, they all do. I’ll get the God one out of the way first.


Concept #1: God has created everyone for a purpose. Purpose has nothing to do with money, power, or fame. You will be who you are, period. Finding who you are is nothing more than being mercilessly truthful with yourself beyond the point of mental fatique. Then--this is the hard part--you have to accept it.


Concept #2: The only way to face life full-bore is by enlisting the strength of another. Personally, I choose God/spirituality/holy spirit/whatevah to help me. This hasn’t been easy, but it has given me more than I could have ever achieved on my own. Now remember, I’m explaining a concept here. Tracking me? Concept. That concept is that if you believe you can do life solo, you’re traveling a path of disappointment. You have to give it up, your mind, body and soul. Make yourself emotionally vulnerable and you become stronger.


Concept #3: Become the leader of your family: Say what you will, but I believe that there can be only one king, one leader at the top of the chain making the FINAL decisions. The reality is this (I am so going to take it on the chin for this one), women want men to be the leader of the family. In a family, especially one with at least one child, (most) women desire the man to be the provider. They want the man to make the hard decisions. They want the man to take care of the stereotypical man stuff along with being rock-solid on all matters.


I’m NOT saying that women should be subservient. I’m NOT saying that a man should make all decisions without consulting his wife. Or without giving her the respect that she deserves. I am NOT saying that the woman ranks second in the household. And I am NOT saying that a woman would simply fall apart without a man. C’mon, people, everyone knows that women are smarter and usually more rational than men. Hell, I would fall apart without my wife; she holds me together and makes our family run.


Leadership is a trait lacking in the majority of people; it’s not usually something that we are taught in school, and it's a hard concept to understand. Most intelligent people will actually decline such positions of authority simply because it’s difficult, extremely stressful, and gives more responsibility than most people want. The fact remains, however, all families need leadership.


Be a leader by being a humble servant to your family. Include your wife in all major and semi-major decisions. Give her opinions as much--if not more--weight than your own.

Be decisive. Trust yourself. Do not waiver in that which you believe. Have your “yes” mean yes and your “no” mean no in all matters.

Discipline your children after thinking intelligently about the "crime" committed. Most adults don't understand that children desire discipline. They need it, and they want rules. Enforcement should be out of love, not anger. Wait until you are no longer angry before allowing the child to learn that all actions have consequences. Beating NEVER helps a child understand the meaning of integrity and trust.

Give to your family what they most desire from you. Don’t presume to know, you have to ask. THIS is what it means to provide for your family. And when you do, they will give you—without even thinking about it—that for which men yearn most, to be respected and admired.


There is one last thing, but I didn’t learn this from Promise Keepers. Be open to the thought of God and spirituality. If other things aren’t working for you, explore. Christians won’t bite you. They won’t stone you for having once cheated on your wife. They won’t make you do anything that you don’t want to do. Think of it as knowledge being power. You once explored the alphabet, and now you can read. Now you can choose to read or not read any thing you wish. Your decisions are based on an intelligent understanding of how words work, not a preconceived notion of how letters fit in a particular order to form words....um...you know what I'm saying.


A great place to start without having to face all of those silly Christian people on Sunday morning is a book by Lee Strobel, a journalist, an agnostic journalist, who set out prove or disprove the myth of Jesus in A Case for Christ: A Journalist’s Personal Investigation of the Evidence.

The Falls at Reedy River

Reedy River Falls - Greenville, SC - Summer 2007

Coop Dog

Cooper - March 2007

Seasoned Daffodil

Seasoned Daffodil - Spring 2005

Peering Into the Mind of a Pedophile

Children have the right to have sex with adults! So called "pedophiles" should never be prosecuted because a child wants to preform sexual acts with them. The laws should be changed because innocent people are going to jail for nothing more than a natural act. Have you ever wondered what is going through the mind of a pedophile? Here is a prime example. Read it. Study it. Teach it to your children so that they may defend themselves against manipulation.

Predators referrer to it as a "Childs' Rights Movement". They believe that children, regardless of age, have the right to decide whatever they want to do, whenever they want to do it, with whomever they please. Subsequently, they believe that the laws against pedophilia should be changed. As they see it, innocent people are imprisoned simply because they have sex with someone under the age of 18-years-old.

They will often use the right of free speech to preach their remorseless gospel. And on this point, this one particular point, I do have to agree with them. They are guaranteed this right just as I am. However, Websites that preach such language will frequently become a hidden haven of one-upsmanship testimonial or a breading ground of leads to vial photos and movies. I am willing to accept the fact that these sites may also entertain braggarts possibly seeking help in the only refuge that will accept without judgment. So for the greater good of children, what is the proper thing to do? Should these sites be allowed to remain in place? Should they all be taken down? Should the decision be based on site content? Should it be on a case-by-case basis? I have my opinions, but what are yours?

Below is an good-sized list that allows you to look into the mind of various predators and/or those who support the "Childs' Rights Movement".

I highly suggest that you read the back-story in, "A Pedophile Is Exploiting My Child" before reading any further. Or, at the very least, watch the video that you see before you.


Quotes exclusively from Jamon (AKA - Mr. Pedowar)

"Hi. I am the disturbing idiot pedophile referenced in these postings." - Jamon (AKA- Mr. Pedowar)

"Anonymity is useful for easing social friction. It is also not pro-pedophilia. In actuality the pedophile community despises and distrusts me. I also have no interest in revenge or tracking you down as you suggest. My efforts are of a peaceful intellectual concern, and are done out of a deep caring for you. It is impossible for you to see this from the perspective you have been raised in, but with time I will earn your trust." - Jamon (AKA- Mr. Pedowar)

[Speaking about the incident of exposing my information on pedophile websites]
"It is scary, yes, but it is like someone having a panic attack over something benign. Your family is in no extra danger, even if the public knows every detail of your life." - Jamon (AKA- Mr. Pedowar)


[Speaking to my request to take down the photo of my child and never publish it again]
"I can promise that I will publish everything. That is what publicy is. I can also tell you that if you or anyone else's baby is ever in danger, and I have the slightest bit of power to solve the problem, I will do so." - Jamon (AKA- Mr. Pedowar)

[Taken from core.onion on the anonymous Tor network.]
"He says he hates anonymous and yet he is trying to be anonymous. He has no idea we know everything about him. He's a not too bright Christian." - Jamon (AKA- Mr. Pedowar)

"My phone # is 339.337.5181. Feel free to leave some nasty I hate pedo messages. The meaner the better. It'll go great for displaying the emotional insanity the hysteria causes." - Jamon (AKA- Mr. Pedowar)

"My YouTube account is http://youtube.com/jamonsilva Feel free to leave nasty comments. I suggest saying I look like a girl or an ugly pedo. Mark my videos as abuse, and YouTube will probably ban me." - Jamon (AKA- Mr. Pedowar)

"Then go to http://myspace.com/jamonsilva Make fun of how I look and bulletin people saying a dangerous sexual predator is on MySpace to steal the children. Make it sound like I have super human powers to snatch them in the night through the modem line." - - Jamon (AKA- Mr. Pedowar)

"What I find unfortunate is that you are seizing on this small bit of excitement and recognition you received for something in your blog and capitalizing off it to gain more publicity." - - Jamon (AKA- Mr. Pedowar)

"You are responsible for censoring pedowar.com, pedotest.com, and much of my writings. I would say you have done enough damage, and the last thing you want to do is bring your daughter into it." - - Jamon (AKA- Mr. Pedowar)

"There is no threat. There are no pedophiles who want your daughter." - - Jamon (AKA- Mr. Pedowar)

Quotes from Anonymous User in Support of Mr. Pedowar

[Speaking to me]
"You're being a dick. Thousands of people's children's photos are online. It's pricks like you that destroy their society. No one ever goes near children any more. Once they had mentors and experienced being with adults and playing games with them. The only thing you should have concerned yourself over was whether any of the individuals wanted to kidnap your child. But there is no way to prove it...which is why your reaction is stupid. Now that you have thrown a tantrum, you have ensured this picture is widely distributed among these people and has increased the danger to your child, because of your stubborn attitude." - Anonymous

"It (pedowar) was specifically regarding political speech. Of course some of the people who posted on the board were pedophiles, but it was also a great ministry opportunity which you destroyed." - Anonymous

"I have not observed Jamon to make any claim to be a pedophile, but only to be an activist for so-called 'childrens' rights'." - Anonymous

"The fact that you are linking to his address information on your blog suggests that you are trying to incite physical violence against him." - Anonymous

"The Constitution doesn't promise privacy to anybody so people should never say or do anything that they don't want to be public." - Anonymous

[Taken from core.onion on the anonymous Tor network.]
"That's right, we need a special Internet now just to be able to have free speech. God bless the USA." - Anonymous

"This has nothing to do with child exploitation, it is a free speech issue. The simple fact is that there is nowhere to speak about laws related to protecting children, even if the illegal scientific research proves they do more harm than good." - Anonymous

"This is not over ladies and gentlemen, it is just being driven further underground, where more dangerous strategies can brew." - Anonymous

""Pedos" have more to lose. You don't have to worry about an angry pitchfork-wielding lynch mob showing up at your place. "Mr. Pedowar" is taking more of a risk than you are. Kudos to him." - Anonymous

[On raising my child in the Christian belief]
"Dear Zeus, stop indoctrinating her with your Christian myths, you're not even giving her a chance to decide for herself if she believes that rot.
It's probably not your fault that you believe it, your parents probably indoctrinated you, too. Don't inflict the same abuse on your daughter. Let her grow up and make up her own mind.
(Although to be honest, I'd have to laugh if you did that and she became a Muslim or something. Or worse - An ATHEIST, oh noes!)" - Anonymous

"I'd like to take this opportunity to voice my disgust at people who don't believe *discussion* of pedophilia to be valid free speech." - Anonymous

"You complain about Softlayer providing your contact details to the account holder of the server you complained about, resulting in it being shut down. You don't think he has the right to face his accuser?" - Anonymous

"So, he posted your address on the Internet. Oh well, information wants to be free, yo." - Anonymous

[Speaking about me]
"This person is an idiot and is just trying to stir up a witch-hunt bandwagon. GTFO [Get the fuck off] the internet until you realize that once you put your private pictures and video ONLINE, that it's open to anyone in the world to do whatever they want with it. Jamon: Considering what this tool is trying to stir up against you, I admire how you've handled your postings in defense of yourself." - Anonymous

"This guy's nuts. His daughter is too ugly to be pedobait." - Anonymous

"Sure your daughter is cute, most girls are. But to be frank she's no Dakota Fanning." - Anonymous

If you believe these quotes are taken out of context, I encourage you to check. With the exception of one quote, all can be found in one of three spots: 1) The comments section of my blog during the previous two postings; 2) On Reddit.com here - http://reddit.com/info/6ejeu/comments/; or 3) On Reddit.com here - http://reddit.com/info/6e3mo/comments/

One quote, the first in this list, is taken from a comment that is not posted. It was submitted as a comment to my blog by Jamon [Mr. Pedowar] using his real name. I have it, but I'm not posting it. Mr. Pedowar lost all of his rights on my blog by refusing my request to never again post information about my child. Call me a censor if you wish. I'll gladly accept the title in this case. The alternate title would be that of prisoner #3994838485 and would have had my children visiting me in prison.

One Final Note:
I've promised in my past two posts that I'm going to publish the email conversation between Softlayer Technologies and Mr. Pedowar. Well, I'm not publishing that just yet. You can probably find it roaming around the ether in an edited form if you look hard enough. But I'm holding on to my complete, unedited copy. I think I'm going to be needing it soon, and I can't tip my hat with everything that I have.

My first post in this series has reached about 5000 unique users according to the statistics that track my blog. I've also received an offer to be interviewed on a nationally syndicated radio talk show. In the big click picture, my unique users don't add up to much; these posts are more like microscopic fluid particulate from the viral sneeze of Chocolate Rain or a dust mite underfoot at the Evolution of Dance. I don't care. I really don't care. I believe in my small view of the world that I've affected change in a positive way or maybe helped educate a parent to think twice before posting photos or video. I'm used to people not looking at my blog. I blog because I can. It's fun to get hits, but it's more fun to post things that are important to me. One of those things has been taken away because someone felt the need to involve my child in a way that I do not see fit.

IT'S MY BLOG. If you want to use part of it, ask me. If you want to take without asking, don't bitch about the consequences. Also, let me make one thing perfectly clear: LEAVE MY FAMILY OUT OF IT. Through the grace of the Lord, Mr. Pedowar, you have escaped without consequence other than your Website(s) being temporarily shut down. You really should thank God for that. More grace will follow if you believe.

And while it's on my mind Mr. Pedowar, you really should think about cleaning up that two-door garage of yours. It's a great space. You know what I'm talking about, the one behind your house with 10 windows on left side and 18 on the other. Are all 18 of those windows missing? And exactly how high is all that stuff piled on the left? Just a few more home improvement tips. I think your house would look a lot better if you cut down the two trees covering the front and then trimmed the one on the left. It as to be awfully dark in there with all those trees covering your windows. And you should really protect that deck with a coat of stain. Harsh winters can really take a toll on decking.

And with that, the pedophile portfolio is officially closed...until it needs to be reopened.

_____________________________________________________

Complete Series of this True Story

• A Pedophile Is Exploiting My Child I: A Pedophile Is Exploiting My Child
• A Pedophile Is Exploiting My Child II: Pedophiles, Supporter Supply Metaphorical Rope for Lynching
• A Pedophile Is Exploiting My Child III: Peering Into the Mind of a Pedophile

Pedophiles, Supporters Supply Metaphorical Rope for Lynching

Is it a flimflam, a ruse maybe, played within the greater order of the pedophile? Am I being handed the opportunity to hang myself so that the damper of the child-lusting flame may once again open? Or maybe, just maybe, sociopathic reasoning isn't the sharpest tool in the underground shed.

I received two comments yesterday on my previous story - A Pedophile is Exploiting My Child. One was anonymous. One was signed, dated, and timestamped by Mr. Pedowar himself. As far as I'm concerned, Mr. Pedowar lost any right of access to me by his refusal to delete my child's image from his Website. Censorship? You betcha. Those with children understand. For those supporting pedophilia, step up to the mic, state your real name and speak your piece. Cowardliness and hidden has never and will never affect change.

However, I'm allowing Mr. Anonymous his time in the spotlight. It's not because I feel any need to defend myself against empty statements. There is no need. No one would be the wiser if I simply hit the delete button. I'm doing it to educate parents about the skewed mindset of predators. The following is the unedited comment of Mr. Anonymous and my rebuttal.

Mr. A: The site you're talking about was only a discussion board and was primarily focused on the absurd media and legal hype that has been created around an artificially inflated problem. IT WAS SPECIFICALLY REGARDING POLITICAL SPEECH.
WBR: Issues do get hyped by the media. I agree. This particular genera and the "legal hype" you mentioned, it's not really something I follow. The claim of the witch hunt [sic] being artificially inflated, show me statistical analysis of arrests v. convictions and matched against local, state, and federal law. Otherwise, your claim carries no weight. As for free speech, I'm in. See previous stated qualifications for stepping up to the mic in order to affect change. Or you can stay hidden, feel repressed, and lash out secretly against those who have the courage to turn the light on when they speak.

Of course some of the people who posted on the board were pedophiles, but it was also a great ministry opportunity which you destroyed.
Without being accusatory, I'm assuming by your statement that you know more about pedowar.com and/or the patronage of pedowar.com more than I do. By your admission, some of the clientele were indeed pedophiles. A photo of my child and the subsequent written dissection of the video from which the photo was stolen was on the pedowar Website. This website is known (at least by you) as a place where pedophiles visit and post opinions/editorials/testimonials/etc. I do not approve of my child's photo being on a website with such content. The image was taken from me without my permission. I wanted it removed. Subsequently, I did what I thought was best for my child and made my case to the home of pedowar.com, Softlayer Technologies. I did not remove pedowar.com. I do not have that authority. One must assume that Pedowar.com would not have been taken down without proper authority and for specific reason. That reason is clearly defined in the Softlayer Technology Acceptable Use Policy. More specific reason was conveyed in an email exchange between Mr. Pedowar and Softlayer Technologies. I fully intend on publishing this entire exchange in due time.

I have not observed Jamon to make any claim to be a pedophile, but only to be an activist for so-called "childrens' rights". I consider his beliefs on the subject to be fundamentally flawed, but again you have shut down all discussion.
Rights never needs to be surrounded by quotation marks. All people have rights. Start by researching the Bill of Rights. These rights include free speech. I love free speech. But don't stop there, keep reading. As Americans we have a lot of rights. Children, however, must be protected because they cannot protect themselves. They only understand what they have the ability to understand at any given age. This duty is required by law and is the responsibility of the parents. Now, on the subject of Mr. Pedowar's beliefs, we've found some common ground. But please remember, I did not shut down Pedowar. Softlayer Technologies and Mr. Pedowar at no time have ever had to abide by my authority.

Why are you posting videos of your child on the internet anyway?
There are laws against child pornography and pedophilia. There are no laws against what I did. There are copyright laws against using intellectual and/or artistic property without permission. It was the choice of Mr. Pedowar to violate this law and steal my property. Never did he ask. Had he asked, I would have refused. It was also his choice to decline when I requested that he never again publish my images.

Worse yet, I'm told they include you discussing "butts" with her and acting as if it were something cute.
Worse yet, the video about which you speak as heresy is embedded within the blog on which you are commenting. The audio and video are completely in tact. At the very least, please be an informed dissenter. I can send you a DVD if you wish? Simply give me you name and address. As for the word, butt, it's a funny word to a four-year-old. So is toot.

Furthermore, you have an actual picture of a naked child on your site here: (photo_name_edited).jpg. Why would you consider any of this appropriate to make public? Does your daughter agree with this?
C'mon dude, we're not talking about Robert Maplethorpe here. I do, however, find it interesting that you haven't watched the video about which you are commenting but you certainly found that picture. If you believe my image violates laws governing pornography or pedophilia, affect change. As for my child's opinion, discussions between my family are none of your business. One last thing, if you have already stolen this photo from me, I request that you delete this image immediately. It is mine and you don't have permission to use or copy it. This is clearly stated at the bottom of every page within my blog.

The fact that you are linking to his address information on your blog suggests that you are trying to incite physical violence against him.
I challenge anyone to show me one word, one phrase, one sentence that mentions or even suggests physical violence. I made a call to action in the video, the one you didn't watch, to voice complaints to Softlayer Technologies. I did this because they gave Mr. Pedowar my name, address, phone number, and email. Mr. Pedowar subsequently posted my contact information in the pages of a location/network known to be frequented by pedophiles. Within the same post, Mr. Pedowar mocked my intelligence and religious beliefs among his peers by boasting, "He has no idea we know everything about him. He's a not too bright Christian." Furthermore, Mr. Pedowar continues to be a client of Softlayer Technologies even after they took his sites down. Again, this proof was found within an email exchange between Mr. Pedowar and Softlayer Technologies. Mr. Pedowar posted this information at the same time that he felt the need to publish my contact information.

This is exactly the problem with the lack of privacy on the internet. There is no free speech when it can be met with mob violence.
I cannot dispute your belief. It's yours, which makes it inherently correct to you. I am one man, not a mob. I have threatened no one with violence. Write, not fight.

Until a new forum turns up, I can do nothing about Jamon and the "childrens' rights" movement, but I suggest you "be a man" and take down all these videos and pictures that put your daughter in a public spotlight, and remove your implied call to violence.
It just breaks my heart to hear your woes about not being able to support Mr. Pedowar, a man whose beliefs you view as "fundamentally flawed". I do appreciate your suggestion to "be a man". So let me think here. What have you taught me about being a man? 1) To be a man I must ride the fence of fundamentally flawed beliefs; 2) I must accuse without knowing all of the facts even though the facts are placed directly in front of me; and 3) I must misconstrue a link to WhoIs.net and instead give it an exaggerated title such as an "implied call to violence".

Maybe someday your daughter will forgive you.
Because I raise my child in The Word of the Lord, someday she WILL be able to forgive you.

In all reality, it matters not the depth of questions or breadth of response. Integrity and truth are most important. To a man, a real man, these two qualities are what pre-pubescent youth is to a pedophile. A real man craves integrity and truth. He understands that these qualities define who he is and who he will become. Truth and integrity live here, in my house, without concern for hidden networks or clandestine trading of disgusting media.

Opinion is mine to do with as I please. My facts, however, are backed up by written statements, foul comments, and clandestine email viruses hurled at me throughout the past week. These things are done to me because I choose to defend my family from pornography and pedophilia. Mr. Pedowar provoked me by stealing my image and posting it as he deemed necessary regardless of consequence from his actions or the implications to my family. Softlayer Technologies provided someone for whom they believe is a purveyor of pedophilia with my contact information regardless of the consequences to my family.

Here is what I don't understand. Every strand of this fiber-ladden story is willfully provided to me through mostly anonymous correspondence. From those strands I am fashioning a fine piece of hand-crafted rope. I will graciously give this gift to the protectors of pedophilia so that they may then hang themselves. If you don't understand metaphor, allow me to spell it out for you; if what you do is against the law, keep your mouths shut. If you are caught, be a man and accept your consequences. At the very least, make recompense.

All I asked of Mr. Pedowar was to present to me in writing that he would take down the photo of my child and any references to her as well as promising not to invade my home again. As for Softlayer Technologies, I asked them to call me.

Mr. Pedowar refused.

Softlayer Technologies did not call.

_____________________________________________________

Complete Series of this True Story

• A Pedophile Is Exploiting My Child I: A Pedophile Is Exploiting My Child
• A Pedophile Is Exploiting My Child II: Pedophiles, Supporter Supply Metaphorical Rope for Lynching
• A Pedophile Is Exploiting My Child III: Peering Into the Mind of a Pedophile

A Pedophile Is Exploiting My Child

It was an odd Website name. It appeared in my statistics as one hit at first. I started investigating when the hits became ten. I nearly puked when I discovered that an image of my four-year-old little girl was on a Website catering to pedophiles.

I found his name and address. He's proud of what he does. He likes the attention because he feels he is doing do a service to this country by defending the first amendment.

I made a complaint to the business from where he rents server space. The business is Softlayer Technologies. Within hours the site was down. I was proud of myself for doing what was right. I was proud of Softlayer Technologies for doing what was right. Things aren't always as they seem, but more on that later.

I did feel, however, that I owed the owner of the Website, Pedowar.com, an explanation as to why I made the complaint. Mistake.

I caught up with him in a chat site after searching his name, the name of his Website, and a few other terms. I knew it was him because the specific topic was about the Website being shut down. I wrote an open letter of sorts explaining why I did what I did.

I knew it was only a matter of time before his site was up and running again. I asked him to be a man, prove that he "cares deeply about me", and take all mention of my family off his site. Read it all here. It's completely safe. It's not a pedo or porn site. It's just text.

I was certainly not satisfied with his refusal, so I took a dive into the underbelly of the Internet. I thank God that I was able to get some information, unbelievable information, without having to see any disgusting images. Some of the titles were enough to again make me sick to my stomach.

I found that Mr. Pedowar is all about displaying as much information as he possibly can. For all intents and purposes, he was bragging about me. This quote from him was taken from one of those underground pedophile sites. "He has no idea we know everything about him. He's a not too bright Christian."

Huh? How could he have all of my information?

Why? Because Softlayer Technologies provided him with my name, address, phone number, and email address.

I have two children.

Softlayer Technologies took down Mr. Pedowar's website because they believe that the content within is in violation of the law and/or their "zero tolerance policy". However, they gave my contact information to him.

Mr. Pedowar subsequently posted my contact information for all pedophiles to see on these underground pedophile Websites.

Watch the video. It's brief, and it will explain some of the additional details. By the way, Softlayer Technologies continues to provide this purveyor of pedophilia with service.

_____________________________________________________

Complete Series of this True Story

• A Pedophile Is Exploiting My Child I: A Pedophile Is Exploiting My Child
• A Pedophile Is Exploiting My Child II: Pedophiles, Supporter Supply Metaphorical Rope for Lynching
• A Pedophile Is Exploiting My Child III: Peering Into the Mind of a Pedophile

Cool LEAFy Morning

Lake Eden Arts Festival - October 2007

Cootie Stark: The King of Piedmont Blues

When I read about Mr. Johnny Miller in a local Greenville, S.C. newspaper, I had to go meet him. I was really into playing the blues guitar during that time, and I had no idea that a Piedmont Blues legend lived no more than a mile from my home.

The projects where Johnny lived weren’t far from city condemnation at that time. I pulled up in unit four, my WYFF-TV news vehicle, during a lunch break and knocked on the door. A humble yet cigar-thick voice greeted my call with hello as he opened the door.

There he was, Cootie Stark, right in front of me. Cootie was his stage name.

He invited me in before I could finish explaining my purpose.

The dark four room dwelling had painted concrete block for walls and no decoration. I guess it made sense; he’s a guy and he’s blind. I probably wouldn’t decorate, either.

Cootie started telling me the story of his life and included things like growing up in Laurens, S.C. and pickin’ peas as a child. He spoke of traveling all the way to Greenville (about 20 miles) during the summer, and how he came to play guitar. He made mention of his relationships with Baby Tate, the Rev. Gary Davis and several other Piedmont Blues legends living in the area around the 40s, 50s, and 60s.

He also talked a lot about the Music Maker Relief Foundation, and the MMRF president, Tim Duffy. He called him Timmy. He told me how the organization has helped him survive, travel the world and feel as though he again had purpose. The stories captivated me.

My lunch hour almost gone, I asked if I could come back some time and shoot a story about his life. He agreed, and I stood to leave.

“Hey, uh, I seem to be havin’ a bit of trouble with my CD player," Cootie said. "You any good at that kinda stuff? Could you look at it for me?”

I was honored with the thought of helping such a such a legend. I reached over and picked up the CD player. My keen sense of electronictechnogeek kicked in quickly and I determined without a doubt that the CD was in upside down. Yes, I know. My brilliance continually amazes me, too.

I flipped it and hit play. Out comes this great Piedmont Blues. “This is great,” I said. “Who is it?”

“That’s me,” he said in his polite southern gruff.

I shook his hand, set up a time to do a feature story* and departed to the nearest music story to pick up a copy of Sugar Man. I was late getting back.

I had a few more conversations with Mr. Miller before he died in April 2005. I again honored one evening at the Handlebar when I was able to thank him for helping me achieve my goal of winning an Emmy. I was also able to thank him for allowing me to preserve a dying form of true Americana.

I shook his hand and gave him a copy of the story.

“Thank you young man, you gonna to do just fine with your life,” was that last thing he said to me.

Listen to Cootie Stark:

Metal Bottoms | Sandy Land | Blue Smokey Mountain

* Kudos to my reporter and friend, Kimbery Lohman, for an doing such an excellent job on this story.

Needin' a New Coat

Paint Job, January 2007

Saving Light To Sea - The Morris Island Lighthouse

Overview:
This story profiles a group of people struggling to save to save a part of american history, the Morris Island Lighthouse located off the shores of Folly Island, S.C. I shot this story as a series feature during my tenure at WYFF. It's full of color characters and solid NPAA photojournalism. This is one of several stories I shot* that allowed me to earn an Emmy Award for Best Photography. Additional Videos

A Brief History of the Morris Island Lighthouse:
Morris Island lighthouse stands all alone about 300 yards off shore from the island of Folly Beach. It can be viewed from the northeast end of Folly Island and from the bridge coming on to Folly Beach.

The Morris Island lighthouse is now completely surrounded by water but was once sitting on a good sized island with numerous buildings around it. The lighthouse was completed in 1876 and was the second lighthouse to be built on the island.

In the 1700s there were three islands that stretched for four miles between Folly Island and Sullivan’s Island. They were named Middle Bay Island, Morrison Island, and Cummings Point. The first Charleston lighthouse was built on Middle Bay Island in 1767. The lighthouse was designed by Samuel Cardy and built by Adam Miller and Thomas Young. The tower was cylindrical and stood 102 feet tall. The lantern room had a revolving lamp that had a range of about 12 miles. In 1858 a Fresnel lens was installed.

In the early 1800s the channel leading to Charleston began to shift causing a change in the tidal currents. Sand began to build up between the islands and this resulted in the three islands merging into a single island. Since Morrison Island was the central of the three earlier islands, the now single island was called Morrison Island. Later the name was shortened to Morris Island.

The first Charleston lighthouse continued to provide service up to the Civil War. In 1861 the fleeing Confederate soldiers blew up the lighthouse so northern troops could not use it.

Following the civil war, in 1873, Congress appropriated money for the rebuilding of the Morris Island Lighthouse (then referred to as the Charleston Main Light). The lighthouse was completed in 1876 approximately 400 yards from the earlier tower. It stood 161 feet tall and was patterned after the Bodie Light of the Outer Banks in North Carolina. It even used the same paint scheme as a day mark – black and white horizontal stripes. There were a total of 15 buildings on the island besides the lighthouse tower. Included in these were the keeper’s quarters, various outbuildings, and a one-room schoolhouse (the school teacher came over from the mainland on Monday, taught the children during the week and returned to the mainland on Friday).

Toward the end of the 1800s the channel had again shifted, but this time the change threatened the Charleston Harbor. In order to keep the channel open several jetties had to be built. These were completed in 1889. Although the channel into Charleston was saved, the changing tidal currents resulting from the jetties caused severe erosion on Morris Island. The island began to shrink. By 1938 many of the buildings were destroyed and others moved. The light was automated in 1938 and the Fresnel lens was removed.

Since 1938 over 1600 feet of land surrounding the tower has been lost. Today it stands alone, completely surrounded by water. In 1962 the Sullivan’s Island lighthouse was built to replace the Morris Island Light, which was decommissioned. The U.S. Coast Guard had plans to demolish the tower but petitions from local residents saved the structure. The Coast Guard built an underground steel wall around the tower to protect it from further erosion damage. The lighthouse is now
privately owned and efforts are underway to preserve the Morris Island Light.

The Morris Island Coalition is working hard to protect Morris Island. The Morris Island Lighthouse Project is working to preserve and restore the lighthouse. Please visit their sites and learn much more about the rich history of Morris Island. [Source - FollyBeach.Com]

* Kudos to my reporter and friend, Stephanie Trotter, for writing a great story and for allowing me to white balance when there was nothing white at hand.

Paris Mountain Trees Ansel Adams Style

Paris Mountain Trees - In the Style of Ansel Adams - Fall 2005

Do You Know Your Photojournalism? Prove it.

The Challenge
There are 52 photos in this 2:30-minute video about a handful of significant events in the history of photojournalism. All of the photos are VERY famous. All of the photographers are VERY famous (in the genera circle). Several of the photos are from the same photographer. I'm not going to tell you how many photographers. Your challenge is to send me the list of the photographers who took these photos.

The Prizes
All who take on this challenge with a noble submission will have your name/link in a "contestants" blog. For the winner, I will 1) extoll your brilliance in a separate "Winner" blog; 2) I'll give you a permanent link on my site; and 3) I'll display up to three of your photos in the "Winner" blog (with proper credit and linkage, of course). One caveat: If you have a site that I find offensive, repugnant and/or libelous/slanderous, you lose. Same goes with your photos.

Entering
First person to get them all correct wins. Entry is based on time stamp. Simply leave your entry in the comments section. Or, if you must, send your entries to buckeyetimmy "at" yahoo dot com. If you're viewing this via the Worlds Beyond Rittman YouTube Channel, you can leave your entries there, too. No spam. All respect. Promise.

Side Note:
Within a few days after meeting my professor/collegiate advisor, Tony Mendoza, he told me that all photographers long for reecshe blacks. On and on he went with this while we spoke in the darkroom. "Teeem, you need to get reesche blacks. Reesche blacks Teeem." Tony is a Cuban-American. We were the only people printing.

I decided on my way home that I was going to request a change of advisors. Screw it, I didn't need to put up with that for the next two years. It took nearly a day-and-a-half days before I realized that he wasn't talking about an affluent sugar daddy on the down-low. I laughed out loud in class. - True Story -

Pinball Faces - Death of the Arcade Series

Pinball Faces | December 2007 | From the Death of the Arcade Series

Cows Escape Truck, Town Rallies City Police, Cowboys, & Mop-Toting Grandma

Cops, EMS, Firefighters, Lasso-toting Cowboys, Children and a Grandma rallied to track down a heard of cattle that escaped their captivity.

The assignment was to investigate a report of a hand grenade found by children in the a backyard. The hand grenade report turned out to be bogus, but serendipity of that moment led me to a much better – and much more fun – spot news story.

Cowgone is one of several in a series of stories that allowed me to win an Emmy for best TV News Photography.

Attacked Reporter Speaks About Her Experience

Hear from Charmayne Brown, a black female reporter in South Carolina who was standing on a street covering a murder investigation when she was attacked by a white family yelling racial slurs. Get the Background & Watch the Entire Attack Video.

Are You a Racist? What Should Happen to the Attackers? Does SC Need a Hate Crimes Law? Leave a comment and let the whole world know.

About Those Arrested

Charmayne Brown Interview on WORD Radio

A look into Race Relations in South Carolina

Reporter Attacked On Camera by Three Women

A reporter for WSPA in Spartanburg, S.C. was attacked while covering a murder investigation.

According the the WSPA Websitereporter Charmayne Brown and was standing on public property when a group surrounded her and started punching. Brown says she was across the street from the victim’s house when family members began yelling at her to leave.

Brown says the group was also yelling racial slurs at her and her photographer. She says one of the women in the group then rushed at her, punched her and dragged her to the ground. She says at that point it’s hard for her to recall what was going on, but WPSA's satellite truck operator Ray Daubenspeck says he also saw the woman punching her. He called 911, picked up a camera and began recording video. Charmayne says at least two other people joined in on the attack as her photographer tried to pull them off of her. Source: WYFF & WSPA

Getting Water

Getting Water | June 2005

Ball Mart - Easley South Carolina

Ball Mart - Easley, S.C. - January 2008

1964 Fender Princeton Reverb Blackface

1964 Fender Princeton Reverb Blackface with Strat- Feb 05

Quotes: Bush v. Iraqi Information Minister

When I saw the headline across the Web: Bush Claims No Recession for US; Bush Rejects Recession Claims; and Bush: United States Not In Recession, I couldn't help but think of the words coming from the mouth of the Iraqi Minister of Information, Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf, during the US invasion of Iraq.

I snickered. And then I opened Photoshop. I simply couldn't help putting together this photo collage mixed with George Bush quotes along side some of the quotes from the Iraqi Information Minister.

As a quick aside, I'm not usually one to blog politics. Everyone has their own personal views and the little-known blog of Worlds Beyond Rittman certainly isn't going to change anything. It's just for fun, really.

Broken Neck - One From The Death of the Arcade Series

Broken Neck | Part of the Death of the Arcade Series | December 2007

Seasoned Daffodil

Seasoned Daffodil | April 2005

The Relative Size Of The Universe, Creation v. Evolution, and Shecky The Starfish

The relative size of the universe is nothing more than amazing. Every single time I see something like the photos below it causes one of those WOW moment in my life.

My personal theories have changed over the years as to how, exactly, this could happen. Those theories don't stray too far from conventional wisdom and religious thought. Here are my choices as taught to me all of my life:

1. God, The Almighty Creator + Time
2. A really big explosion + Time

I could use these photos to spark the debate over creation v. evolution. It's pretty simple to me, really. I'll come right out and say it. I'm a Christian (que sound: ominous hallelujah 1).

Bye bye closed minded, intolerant people. Thanks for stopping in. Come'on back now, ya hear.

However, if you're not sure where to put your subscriptions, have you thought about the starfish theory? The theory - as described to me by my friend BadBlood - is one of confused brilliance that leans, in my opinion, closer to what I believe is the correct answer.


The starfish, we'll call him Shecky, doesn't know he's a starfish. Shecky gets up every morning (do starfish sleep?) washes his points, brushes his mouth parts, and might have a piece of cold mussel, clam, and oyster pizza for breakfast. As far as he knows, he's the king of the tide pool.

Shecky simply doesn't have the capacity to understand that a hyperbola has an apex, hyperbole uses exaggerated phrases for emphasis, or hyper-threading is simultaneous multithreading technology in use. C'mon, he's a crustacean.


But does Shecky wonder? Is he smart enough to understand what tastes good to him and what doesn't? Probably. Does he think about the pressure variance upon his body four times a day? One would think such a thing doesn't go unnoticed. Has he figured out that it's the tide causing that pressure variance? I doubt it.

Assuming that you are slightly more intelligent than a crustacean, do you recognize that things change? Is it physics? Yep. Is it evolution? Yep. Is it something so big that you couldn't possibly understand? Yep.

If you believe that there is a spiritual realm, wherever the roots of your theory or belief may lay, wouldn't that be faith? If you believe it but can't see it, isn't that faith?

Faith is powerful. Faith is strong. It can take you to places that you never imagined being or allow you to accomplish the greatest of tasks. Here is the catch; faith is a laser. In order to work, it has to produce the right type of light, it has to be focused, and has to be used for it's intended purpose.


There are 100 BILLION stars in our galaxy, the Milky Way, which is pretty average. The Hubble telescope with it's pinhead-size spectrum of space can see 3000 galaxies. Contemporary wisdom in the world of physics and astronomy places the number of galaxies in the universe at approximately 125 BILLION.

So:

1. God, The Almighty Creator + Time
2. A really big explosion + Time

In The Third Dimension

Watching The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3D - May 2007

Accidental Footwater

Accidental Footwater | Spring 2005

Buckeye Panic

John Bell | Widespread Panic | Columbus, Ohio 10.04.06

Songs of Praise - Brookwood Church

Donna - Feb 2008 - Brookwood Church

Studies Show Stress Sucks, Distressed People Agree

Cooper | 2006

The cycle of life that sends you into a tizzy of stress, woefulness, and questioning why has hit. With the arrival of new, comfort found in the old has gone the way of Mr. Alighieri.

"Through me the way into the suffering city,
Through me the way to the eternal pain,
Through me the way that runs among the lost.
Justice urged on my high artificer;
My maker was divine authority,
The highest wisdom, and the primal love.
Before me nothing but eternal things were made,
And I endure eternally. Abandon every hope, ye who enter here."

Okay, maybe that's pushing it a bit to far. Maybe. Regardless, postpartum life decided to turn swinger and hookup with family hospitalization, paralyzing saturation of duty to my employer, and revelation of friendships moving. So for a while I'm reverting to something that lessens the stress of life, cause more joy than sadness, doesn't get sick, and once captured never leaves: photography.

The Good, The Bad, and The Beautiful

6:05 a.m.

THE GOOD
A Beautiful New Girl Comes Into Our World

THE BAD

Seems we were a bit too late getting to the hospital. We made it, and our daughter was born without incident. However, there were no drugs....“It’s like grappling hooks pulling your insides out.”

THE BEAUTIFUL

Reese Crawford | Wednesday, February 06, 2008 | 3:23am | 6lbs. 10oz. | 18.5 in | All is Well

~More Later~

____________________________________________________________________

11:52 a.m.

I've seen a person experience something that I must claim, simply as an observer, as probably one of the greatest physical pains imaginable. It was my wife, and it made me cry.

I've also experienced, as a participant this time, one of the greatest moments of joy that life can offer. It, too, made me cry.

I've sent and/or received no less than 20 texts, 15 phone calls, 9 emails, and extensive and brief IM conversations. I've posted to my blog twice with text and a photo slide show and have entertained numerous visitors.

I've shot 50 photos, 45 minutes of video, and conducted a business conversation over instant messenger.

I've been awake for 30 hours.

So what, right? Nothing, really. However, right now my wife and new daughter are sleeping soundly. My new Big Sister has already made an appearance and is now playing with friends. All are happy and healthy. As such, my adventures du jour are nothing more than a pebble in my shoe.

God has protected us on this day.

~More Later~

____________________________________________________________________

02.07.08 - 12:30p

Baby Watch 2008 Part II: Reality, Firsts, and Trusting That Feeling

Reality
I spent the night at home with Big Sister, which made me feel like a little funky. The reality of the situation is that momma and I are trying to keep Big Sister on a normal schedule. This, to the dismay of Big Sister, does not include skipping the school for the rest of the week.

That funky feeling comes as a result of leaving momma and Little Sister alone. Everyone knows that they would both vaporize without the presence of the protector and provider, Big Daddy.

Yep. Sure enough. Yep. They sure would. Yep.

Okay, I know that they are probably 2.754 quadrillion times safer surrounded by 24/7 healthcare professionals specifically trained to take care of such people during such a time.

I just want to be there, that’s all.

Firsts
I added Little Sister folder into the Family Photo Archive last night. That excited me. I quickly realized, after perusing the entire digital photo folio, I will soon need to reserve a small alcove within my home for the storage of hard drives. At current count, I have approximately 10,000 digital photos, half of which are of Big Sister.

The other first came this morning. I wrote an excused absence note, a legitimate one (for once), because Big Sister missed school yesterday. When was it that I became an adult?

~Epstein’s Mother

That Little Feeling
That little feeling; you know the one I’m talking about. Christians might refer to it as The Holy Spirit. It’s often called intuition, instinct, or maybe a sixth sense. Patti and I hadn’t talked about it but it turns out we were both feeling it.

In discussions previous, we decided that momma would have a tubal ligation (tubaligation?) right after Little Sister was born. The doc said it could be done quickly and easily and that he would simply leave the epidural in after birth so the procedure could be completed that day or the next.

Easy enough. Done and done!

Well, there was no epidural. As such, momma would be put to sleep under general anesthesia, would not be allowed food or drink for eight hours before surgery and be put on a when-we-get-to-you elective surgery list. We agreed, and she began fasting immediately because they said she would be first on the list that morning. Keep in mind that she had just given birth naturally, with no drugs, and she wasn’t allowed any water or food until after her 7am procedure.

That procedure was moved to 11am, and then to “later afternoon”, and then to “it might have to be tomorrow.” She opted for the “tomorrow” option immediately, about 12 hours after giving birth. Had my arm been a chicken wing and my blood, water, she wouldn’t have given me even the slightest of second chances.

Only then did we begin to speak of “that little feeling”. Long story a little less long, she…we…decided to opt out of the surgery completely. We’re not sure why, and we have no intention on having additonal children. We decided that the Holy Spirit was directing both of us through “that little feeling” and a series of “circumstance” that could not be ignored. We went with it.

All Photography

All Video

Research Shows Birth Frequently Follows Cervix Dilation

DeetDadeetDaDeeDeet...DeeDeeDeetDaDeetDaDeetDaDeeDeeDeet...

This just in...
Sources tell Newscenterplexdoppler Live 5 that PW (AKA: Mom, Patti Watti, and from time to time, Damnit Patti), spouse of world famous Communications and Public Relations Guru, BuckeyeTimmy, is two centimeters dilated.

For further information, we go to Roger in the Live Super Newsplex Doppler Live Newsroom Center Room Plex...
Roger...

Thanks Will...
According to sources wishing to remain anonymous, one centimeter equals 10 millimeters.
Back to you Will...

Thanks Roger...
For further information, we now go Live to Janet at the Greenville Hospital System.
Janet...

Will, after days of research with local authorities, local physicians, and local locals, Newscenterplexdoppler Live 5 has learned that cervix dilation is an indicator of impending birth of a new baby. We have also learned that when dilation begins, birth of a new baby will be coming soon.
Will...

Thanks Janet for the in-depth and detailed report... (turn, take camera 2)

In other news...
College is expensive...Fatty foods are bad for you...And it rains in the Spring...

And speaking of rain, Natalie has a few nasty little clouds to tell us about....



GAME ON!

Death of the Arcade - My Tribute to the End of the 80s Video Game

Summer - 1984: Sweat beading. My expression reveals razor focus. THIS time I knew it was going to happen. AAA would very soon be replaced with TDW. And then I would be number one...nu-me-ro uno...and the talk of the small-town teen tabloids.

Throughout the 80s I pumped what probably amounted to thousands of dollars into the likes of Tempest, Defender, Asteroids, Missile Command, Joust, and various pinball machines. I loved it. We all loved it. Mechanical Madness was the name of the arcade in Rittman, Ohio.

Fast forward 24-ish years to an under-lighted, dank warehouse in Greenville, SC. Brisk rain understates this day.

Fred Collins was the undisputed Arcade King and Video Poker Magnate of Upstate, SC until his death a few years back. In December 2007, Collins Entertainment held a huge arcade auction, the kind that is advertised throughout the United States.

Inside was THE score for any 80s arcade junkie who didn't mind melting endless spoons full of his tincture du jor mixed and matched from whatever necessary in order to get that fix. Few were plug-n-play. Thousands were available. All were covered with various forms of debris.

This was the funeral.

All Photography

All Video

Bush Addresses UN, Cries

Call me an insensitive pig. I don’t care.

Imagine seeing the above headline in the NY Times or the WP (the insensitive pig musing isn’t that to which I refer).

Picture George Bush making his case for war to the UN, (take camera two) and a tight shot of the President of the United States of America with tears running down his cheek.

I have nothing personal against George or Hillary. I’m neither endorsing nor berating any party. And I believe that the decision-making emotional side of women keeps love alive and many of the world populous from killing one another.

I also believe that the majority of people view perception as reality.

When it comes right down to it, I don’t want any world nation to view the United States as a country that cries, EVER.

Don’t get me wrong, crying is a good thing. There is a lot of stress in the ever-day lives of every-day people. I would expect to see a president or a presidential candidate cry at, say, the funeral of a loved one. But that’s about it.

I haven’t made my decision yet, and I probably won’t until the chad puncher (or stylus in SC) is in my hand. I will vote while preserving the responsibility of being informed voter. I will vote for whomever I believe will best serve our nation. I will not vote for someone who cannot keep emotionally in check when the cameras are rolling.

There is no crying in baseball.

NCAA Football National Championship Game

Great Article About Jim Tressel
BCS Central Blog - Buckeyes In New Orleans
Current Photos - Buckeyes In New Orleans
The Columbus Dispatch - Buckeye Xtra
10 Reason Why Ohio State Will Win The National Championship

Baby Watch Causes Last Three-Person Christmas Caucus