Showing posts with label Birth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Birth. Show all posts

Monday, December 29, 2008

Miracles, Assholes, and Other Stuff from 2008

RittmanTear-jerking extremes the likes of which have since puked on me fill a huge portion of my worlds beyond Rittman 2008. In the dramatic category, deceitful promises, a ridiculous attitude, and a couple other jerkwads pull an unquestionable sweep. The blow-your-top category stars a freak who placed my daughter's image on a pro-pedophile website, and thanks to his website host, he then placed my name, address, email, and phone number on some hard-core underground pedophile websites. Education at home and work rank top in stressors; the afore mentioned jerkwads bring up the rear at third. Volunteer opportunities, photography, faith, war, and a little boy graduating fill some of the gaps. Inspired by Otis at Rapid Eye Reality, here is my year-ender.

RittmanFor Unto Us a Child is Born

What can I say? Really. If you have a child you know. The Good, the Bad, and The Beautiful chronicles the birth of our latest from the perspective of daddy. It was different this time, not greater or less than last, just different. Here are the photos. We actually have video of the whole thing. We haven't watched it. Oh, and ya know all those people who tell you that the second one is cake after the first? Liars. The whole lot of them.






Favorite Video Project: My Daughter Being Hannah Montana

Favorite Toy: The VuPoint negative scanner that Santa gave me

Favorite Guilty Pleasure: Facebook



The RC Jones Chronicles

Although I promised my wife that I would no longer blog about our construction project, I'm claiming an exemption. I simply can't write about 2008 without mentioning our perfect and wonderful home improvement experience with Jimmy Hoffa, Ed Norton's Aaron Stampler (sans ending revelation), Hale-ly Davidson and the rest of the merry crew at RC Jones and JD Hale construction companies. I don't have a title for the movie, but tag line will be something along the lines of, "Without Lube". The saga will continues.

 


Surprises of the Year: Providing my skills in a volunteer capacity gives me a great deal of satisfaction; My sister-in-law getting baptized; Growing a full beard for the first time in my life.

Memorable Moment (aside from the birth of my second child): Getting a press pass to photograph Barak Obama when he visited Clemson University

 


 

Attacking Those Who Lust After Children

Website stats allowed me to discover that a stolen image of my daughter graced the pages of a pro-pedophile website. Rather than tracking down this person who can only be described as a freak and sticking a knife in his heart, I complained to his website host, Softlayer Technologies. Softlayer did the right thing and took down the site. They also made a horrible ethical decision by giving my complete contact information to this pedo-sicko who subsequently posted it for all pedophiles to see on core.onion, an underground secure web portal. I also launched a verbal attack on these "child rights" advocates so that other parents can glimpse into the true mind of a pedophile.

 

 

Events of the Year - The Lake Eden Arts Festival & Brookwood Church 15th Anniversary

Word of the Year - Accountability

Interesting Music Find - Zack Deputy

 

Reading, Writing, and Propaganda

I continue to be amazed at the capacity for which a child can learn. Along with this learning comes homework, much more homework than I ever remember having as a child. Although completely necessary, this additional homework three nights a week added a great deal of stress to the family. However, it's paying off. My child can now read and spell much better than I could at that age. She can also surf the net and kick my butt in Wii bowling. The propaganda part comes into play with my career. I work in higher education. One task this year was to, "come up with one of those award-winning videos that the kids can understand." Believe It is the result.

 


Getting Old: Here are some of the facts:
My nephew was two-years-old when I moved to Gvegas. He graduated from high school this year.
I'm about one year shy of the age that my father was when he died. This has brought to my life a great deal of perspective over the last year.
I no longer have the capacity to drink more than one shot of liquor.
My Wii Fit age is 47.


 




Creativity: My passion for photography has returned, and I've transformed my blog into (mostly) a photoblog. I'm also leading my church Photo Ministry.

Favorite Photos: The Good, The Bad, and the Beautiful | Baby Leaf | Mother's Finest | Icky Pumpkin | The LEAF in Black Mountain North Carolina


 

Worlds Beyond Rittman Analytics

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Absolute Unique Visitors - 10, 941

Pageviews - 21,427

Average Time on Site - 1 minute 39 seconds

New Visits - 82.75%

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Direct Traffic - 10.95%

Referring Sites - 78.79%

Search Engines - 10.25%

Top Referral Sites: Reddit.com | Youtube.com | Growabrain.typepad.com | Stumbleupon.com | Mixx.com

Top Keywords/Phrases: R.C. Jones (and other such variants) | Clemson University | Worlds Beyond Rittman | Fender Princeton Reverb | Pedowar

Top Content (over all) A Pedophile Is Exploiting My Child
The Good, The Bad, and the Beautiful
RC Jones Company of Greenville, SC: A Woeful Home Improvement Experience?
1964 Fender Princeton Reverb Blackface
A Cosbyesque Image

 

 

Top Content (photo only) The Good, the Bad, and the Beautiful
Barak Obama Visits Clemson University
A Cosbyesque Image
LEAF HDR
Death of the Arcade, My Tribute to 80s Video Games

Top Content (video only) Cows Escape Truck, Town Rallies City Police, Cowboys, & Mop-Toting Grandma
The RC Jones Chronicles: Always Have An Exit Strategy
Cootie Stark: The King of Piedmont Blues
A Pedophile is Exploiting My Child
Do You Know Your Photojournalism?

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Research Shows Birth Frequently Follows Cervix Dilation

DeetDadeetDaDeeDeet...DeeDeeDeetDaDeetDaDeetDaDeeDeeDeet...

This just in...
Sources tell Newscenterplexdoppler Live 5 that PW (AKA: Mom, Patti Watti, and from time to time, Damnit Patti), spouse of world famous Communications and Public Relations Guru, BuckeyeTimmy, is two centimeters dilated.

For further information, we go to Roger in the Live Super Newsplex Doppler Live Newsroom Center Room Plex...
Roger...

Thanks Will...
According to sources wishing to remain anonymous, one centimeter equals 10 millimeters.
Back to you Will...

Thanks Roger...
For further information, we now go Live to Janet at the Greenville Hospital System.
Janet...

Will, after days of research with local authorities, local physicians, and local locals, Newscenterplexdoppler Live 5 has learned that cervix dilation is an indicator of impending birth of a new baby. We have also learned that when dilation begins, birth of a new baby will be coming soon.
Will...

Thanks Janet for the in-depth and detailed report... (turn, take camera 2)

In other news...
College is expensive...Fatty foods are bad for you...And it rains in the Spring...

And speaking of rain, Natalie has a few nasty little clouds to tell us about....



GAME ON!