Imagine being incoming college freshman majoring in, say, education, health sciences, nursing, or maybe parks, recreation, and tourism management. It's summer orientation. You and your parent of choice are lead around the campus by in-the-know students carrying silly signs that avoid loss of trailing ducklings. It's hot, South Carolina Hot.
You're handed a map and told to follow along as you learn the ins and outs of dinning locations, dorm rooms, and Clemson University history. Along the way, the lead student makes the entire group take a vow to forever praise the almighty Danny Ford, teaches you why you must rub the rock in Frank Howard's Death Valley, and explains to parents that the Esso Club is not a gas station.
If you're lucky, you might learn that there is no "P", "Z", or "U" in the proper pronunciation of the university name.
Finally, you are directed to an auditorium near Edwards Hall that is full of like-major acquaintances. These people will soon become some of your best friends, but not before you get to view my latest piece of higher education propaganda for the Clemson University College of Health, Education, and Human Development.