Be A Man, Find Your Purpose

I know because I feel it, too. Thirty-something with a good job, a great family, and some cool toys acquired over the first half-ish of your professional working career. You want more, but more of what? That sense, the little feeling, what is it?


I measure up. I have a house. It’s not as big as the houses of my friends. I earn a decent salary. It’s not as much as I believe I’m worth and it certainly doesn’t measure up to those friends who have the bigger house…and the new Honda with the duel-screen DVD player. You know who I’m talking about, the family that seem to take the trips that I want to provide for my family.


That guy who has the bigger house, the new car, and travels the world with the confidence of Indiana Jones, he feels the same way you do.


Thoreau it all a way and find your Walden. (It took me nearly 30 seconds to think of that) This is where purpose resides.


Look, I’m not saying that you have to toss that cool new Mac Air, stop using deodorant and wipe your ass with surrounding roughage. I’m talking real change, the kind that takes place in your heart, mind and soul. I’m talking the hard kind of change.


It was a two-step reality check that set my sail. I nearly lost my family and God stepped into my life.


Now, before you write me off as some Christian zealot waiting until the middle of my musings to spring my trap of damnation, take a second to realize that I’m writing about what worked for me. I'm writing about concepts, not fire and brimstone. I don’t even know what brimstone is or why it’s pejoratively coupled with fire. Heck, I don't even know if I can use pejorative as an adverb...but I did. Call me crazy.


Out of a sense of something between curiosity and guilt, coupled with a strangely unexplainable desire, I attended Promise Keepers in Atlanta, Summer 2006. The speakers captivated me. I was a bit freaked out at the same time by 16,000 men cheering across Philips Arena, “Yes, yes, yes we do. We love Jesus, how bout you”. I’ve always considered myself a Christian, but not one that screams about it. Seems a little preacher-with-bullhorn-ish to me, but whateveah’.


After a day-and-a-half filled with biblically-centered motivational speak, comedians, and a killer rock show (I don’t even like Christian rock), I emerged with three concepts that changed my life forever. In theory, only one deals with God. In my reality, they all do. I’ll get the God one out of the way first.


Concept #1: God has created everyone for a purpose. Purpose has nothing to do with money, power, or fame. You will be who you are, period. Finding who you are is nothing more than being mercilessly truthful with yourself beyond the point of mental fatique. Then--this is the hard part--you have to accept it.


Concept #2: The only way to face life full-bore is by enlisting the strength of another. Personally, I choose God/spirituality/holy spirit/whatevah to help me. This hasn’t been easy, but it has given me more than I could have ever achieved on my own. Now remember, I’m explaining a concept here. Tracking me? Concept. That concept is that if you believe you can do life solo, you’re traveling a path of disappointment. You have to give it up, your mind, body and soul. Make yourself emotionally vulnerable and you become stronger.


Concept #3: Become the leader of your family: Say what you will, but I believe that there can be only one king, one leader at the top of the chain making the FINAL decisions. The reality is this (I am so going to take it on the chin for this one), women want men to be the leader of the family. In a family, especially one with at least one child, (most) women desire the man to be the provider. They want the man to make the hard decisions. They want the man to take care of the stereotypical man stuff along with being rock-solid on all matters.


I’m NOT saying that women should be subservient. I’m NOT saying that a man should make all decisions without consulting his wife. Or without giving her the respect that she deserves. I am NOT saying that the woman ranks second in the household. And I am NOT saying that a woman would simply fall apart without a man. C’mon, people, everyone knows that women are smarter and usually more rational than men. Hell, I would fall apart without my wife; she holds me together and makes our family run.


Leadership is a trait lacking in the majority of people; it’s not usually something that we are taught in school, and it's a hard concept to understand. Most intelligent people will actually decline such positions of authority simply because it’s difficult, extremely stressful, and gives more responsibility than most people want. The fact remains, however, all families need leadership.


Be a leader by being a humble servant to your family. Include your wife in all major and semi-major decisions. Give her opinions as much--if not more--weight than your own.

Be decisive. Trust yourself. Do not waiver in that which you believe. Have your “yes” mean yes and your “no” mean no in all matters.

Discipline your children after thinking intelligently about the "crime" committed. Most adults don't understand that children desire discipline. They need it, and they want rules. Enforcement should be out of love, not anger. Wait until you are no longer angry before allowing the child to learn that all actions have consequences. Beating NEVER helps a child understand the meaning of integrity and trust.

Give to your family what they most desire from you. Don’t presume to know, you have to ask. THIS is what it means to provide for your family. And when you do, they will give you—without even thinking about it—that for which men yearn most, to be respected and admired.


There is one last thing, but I didn’t learn this from Promise Keepers. Be open to the thought of God and spirituality. If other things aren’t working for you, explore. Christians won’t bite you. They won’t stone you for having once cheated on your wife. They won’t make you do anything that you don’t want to do. Think of it as knowledge being power. You once explored the alphabet, and now you can read. Now you can choose to read or not read any thing you wish. Your decisions are based on an intelligent understanding of how words work, not a preconceived notion of how letters fit in a particular order to form words....um...you know what I'm saying.


A great place to start without having to face all of those silly Christian people on Sunday morning is a book by Lee Strobel, a journalist, an agnostic journalist, who set out prove or disprove the myth of Jesus in A Case for Christ: A Journalist’s Personal Investigation of the Evidence.

The Falls at Reedy River

Reedy River Falls - Greenville, SC - Summer 2007

Coop Dog

Cooper - March 2007

Seasoned Daffodil

Seasoned Daffodil - Spring 2005

Peering Into the Mind of a Pedophile

Children have the right to have sex with adults! So called "pedophiles" should never be prosecuted because a child wants to preform sexual acts with them. The laws should be changed because innocent people are going to jail for nothing more than a natural act. Have you ever wondered what is going through the mind of a pedophile? Here is a prime example. Read it. Study it. Teach it to your children so that they may defend themselves against manipulation.

Predators referrer to it as a "Childs' Rights Movement". They believe that children, regardless of age, have the right to decide whatever they want to do, whenever they want to do it, with whomever they please. Subsequently, they believe that the laws against pedophilia should be changed. As they see it, innocent people are imprisoned simply because they have sex with someone under the age of 18-years-old.

They will often use the right of free speech to preach their remorseless gospel. And on this point, this one particular point, I do have to agree with them. They are guaranteed this right just as I am. However, Websites that preach such language will frequently become a hidden haven of one-upsmanship testimonial or a breading ground of leads to vial photos and movies. I am willing to accept the fact that these sites may also entertain braggarts possibly seeking help in the only refuge that will accept without judgment. So for the greater good of children, what is the proper thing to do? Should these sites be allowed to remain in place? Should they all be taken down? Should the decision be based on site content? Should it be on a case-by-case basis? I have my opinions, but what are yours?

Below is an good-sized list that allows you to look into the mind of various predators and/or those who support the "Childs' Rights Movement".

I highly suggest that you read the back-story in, "A Pedophile Is Exploiting My Child" before reading any further. Or, at the very least, watch the video that you see before you.


Quotes exclusively from Jamon (AKA - Mr. Pedowar)

"Hi. I am the disturbing idiot pedophile referenced in these postings." - Jamon (AKA- Mr. Pedowar)

"Anonymity is useful for easing social friction. It is also not pro-pedophilia. In actuality the pedophile community despises and distrusts me. I also have no interest in revenge or tracking you down as you suggest. My efforts are of a peaceful intellectual concern, and are done out of a deep caring for you. It is impossible for you to see this from the perspective you have been raised in, but with time I will earn your trust." - Jamon (AKA- Mr. Pedowar)

[Speaking about the incident of exposing my information on pedophile websites]
"It is scary, yes, but it is like someone having a panic attack over something benign. Your family is in no extra danger, even if the public knows every detail of your life." - Jamon (AKA- Mr. Pedowar)


[Speaking to my request to take down the photo of my child and never publish it again]
"I can promise that I will publish everything. That is what publicy is. I can also tell you that if you or anyone else's baby is ever in danger, and I have the slightest bit of power to solve the problem, I will do so." - Jamon (AKA- Mr. Pedowar)

[Taken from core.onion on the anonymous Tor network.]
"He says he hates anonymous and yet he is trying to be anonymous. He has no idea we know everything about him. He's a not too bright Christian." - Jamon (AKA- Mr. Pedowar)

"My phone # is 339.337.5181. Feel free to leave some nasty I hate pedo messages. The meaner the better. It'll go great for displaying the emotional insanity the hysteria causes." - Jamon (AKA- Mr. Pedowar)

"My YouTube account is http://youtube.com/jamonsilva Feel free to leave nasty comments. I suggest saying I look like a girl or an ugly pedo. Mark my videos as abuse, and YouTube will probably ban me." - Jamon (AKA- Mr. Pedowar)

"Then go to http://myspace.com/jamonsilva Make fun of how I look and bulletin people saying a dangerous sexual predator is on MySpace to steal the children. Make it sound like I have super human powers to snatch them in the night through the modem line." - - Jamon (AKA- Mr. Pedowar)

"What I find unfortunate is that you are seizing on this small bit of excitement and recognition you received for something in your blog and capitalizing off it to gain more publicity." - - Jamon (AKA- Mr. Pedowar)

"You are responsible for censoring pedowar.com, pedotest.com, and much of my writings. I would say you have done enough damage, and the last thing you want to do is bring your daughter into it." - - Jamon (AKA- Mr. Pedowar)

"There is no threat. There are no pedophiles who want your daughter." - - Jamon (AKA- Mr. Pedowar)

Quotes from Anonymous User in Support of Mr. Pedowar

[Speaking to me]
"You're being a dick. Thousands of people's children's photos are online. It's pricks like you that destroy their society. No one ever goes near children any more. Once they had mentors and experienced being with adults and playing games with them. The only thing you should have concerned yourself over was whether any of the individuals wanted to kidnap your child. But there is no way to prove it...which is why your reaction is stupid. Now that you have thrown a tantrum, you have ensured this picture is widely distributed among these people and has increased the danger to your child, because of your stubborn attitude." - Anonymous

"It (pedowar) was specifically regarding political speech. Of course some of the people who posted on the board were pedophiles, but it was also a great ministry opportunity which you destroyed." - Anonymous

"I have not observed Jamon to make any claim to be a pedophile, but only to be an activist for so-called 'childrens' rights'." - Anonymous

"The fact that you are linking to his address information on your blog suggests that you are trying to incite physical violence against him." - Anonymous

"The Constitution doesn't promise privacy to anybody so people should never say or do anything that they don't want to be public." - Anonymous

[Taken from core.onion on the anonymous Tor network.]
"That's right, we need a special Internet now just to be able to have free speech. God bless the USA." - Anonymous

"This has nothing to do with child exploitation, it is a free speech issue. The simple fact is that there is nowhere to speak about laws related to protecting children, even if the illegal scientific research proves they do more harm than good." - Anonymous

"This is not over ladies and gentlemen, it is just being driven further underground, where more dangerous strategies can brew." - Anonymous

""Pedos" have more to lose. You don't have to worry about an angry pitchfork-wielding lynch mob showing up at your place. "Mr. Pedowar" is taking more of a risk than you are. Kudos to him." - Anonymous

[On raising my child in the Christian belief]
"Dear Zeus, stop indoctrinating her with your Christian myths, you're not even giving her a chance to decide for herself if she believes that rot.
It's probably not your fault that you believe it, your parents probably indoctrinated you, too. Don't inflict the same abuse on your daughter. Let her grow up and make up her own mind.
(Although to be honest, I'd have to laugh if you did that and she became a Muslim or something. Or worse - An ATHEIST, oh noes!)" - Anonymous

"I'd like to take this opportunity to voice my disgust at people who don't believe *discussion* of pedophilia to be valid free speech." - Anonymous

"You complain about Softlayer providing your contact details to the account holder of the server you complained about, resulting in it being shut down. You don't think he has the right to face his accuser?" - Anonymous

"So, he posted your address on the Internet. Oh well, information wants to be free, yo." - Anonymous

[Speaking about me]
"This person is an idiot and is just trying to stir up a witch-hunt bandwagon. GTFO [Get the fuck off] the internet until you realize that once you put your private pictures and video ONLINE, that it's open to anyone in the world to do whatever they want with it. Jamon: Considering what this tool is trying to stir up against you, I admire how you've handled your postings in defense of yourself." - Anonymous

"This guy's nuts. His daughter is too ugly to be pedobait." - Anonymous

"Sure your daughter is cute, most girls are. But to be frank she's no Dakota Fanning." - Anonymous

If you believe these quotes are taken out of context, I encourage you to check. With the exception of one quote, all can be found in one of three spots: 1) The comments section of my blog during the previous two postings; 2) On Reddit.com here - http://reddit.com/info/6ejeu/comments/; or 3) On Reddit.com here - http://reddit.com/info/6e3mo/comments/

One quote, the first in this list, is taken from a comment that is not posted. It was submitted as a comment to my blog by Jamon [Mr. Pedowar] using his real name. I have it, but I'm not posting it. Mr. Pedowar lost all of his rights on my blog by refusing my request to never again post information about my child. Call me a censor if you wish. I'll gladly accept the title in this case. The alternate title would be that of prisoner #3994838485 and would have had my children visiting me in prison.

One Final Note:
I've promised in my past two posts that I'm going to publish the email conversation between Softlayer Technologies and Mr. Pedowar. Well, I'm not publishing that just yet. You can probably find it roaming around the ether in an edited form if you look hard enough. But I'm holding on to my complete, unedited copy. I think I'm going to be needing it soon, and I can't tip my hat with everything that I have.

My first post in this series has reached about 5000 unique users according to the statistics that track my blog. I've also received an offer to be interviewed on a nationally syndicated radio talk show. In the big click picture, my unique users don't add up to much; these posts are more like microscopic fluid particulate from the viral sneeze of Chocolate Rain or a dust mite underfoot at the Evolution of Dance. I don't care. I really don't care. I believe in my small view of the world that I've affected change in a positive way or maybe helped educate a parent to think twice before posting photos or video. I'm used to people not looking at my blog. I blog because I can. It's fun to get hits, but it's more fun to post things that are important to me. One of those things has been taken away because someone felt the need to involve my child in a way that I do not see fit.

IT'S MY BLOG. If you want to use part of it, ask me. If you want to take without asking, don't bitch about the consequences. Also, let me make one thing perfectly clear: LEAVE MY FAMILY OUT OF IT. Through the grace of the Lord, Mr. Pedowar, you have escaped without consequence other than your Website(s) being temporarily shut down. You really should thank God for that. More grace will follow if you believe.

And while it's on my mind Mr. Pedowar, you really should think about cleaning up that two-door garage of yours. It's a great space. You know what I'm talking about, the one behind your house with 10 windows on left side and 18 on the other. Are all 18 of those windows missing? And exactly how high is all that stuff piled on the left? Just a few more home improvement tips. I think your house would look a lot better if you cut down the two trees covering the front and then trimmed the one on the left. It as to be awfully dark in there with all those trees covering your windows. And you should really protect that deck with a coat of stain. Harsh winters can really take a toll on decking.

And with that, the pedophile portfolio is officially closed...until it needs to be reopened.

_____________________________________________________

Complete Series of this True Story

• A Pedophile Is Exploiting My Child I: A Pedophile Is Exploiting My Child
• A Pedophile Is Exploiting My Child II: Pedophiles, Supporter Supply Metaphorical Rope for Lynching
• A Pedophile Is Exploiting My Child III: Peering Into the Mind of a Pedophile